Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
('Honesty' - Billy Joel)



When is it ok to lie? Are there special circumstances in which lying is acceptable? These were some questions that came to mind after I discovered someone close to me had told me a bare-faced lie.

Of course, there is a thin line between LYING and being diplomatic, polite, kind, or whatever we choose to call it when we say things like "You look great!" when we know someone looks terrible, or "It will be ok" when we know it won't, or "No, that outfit doesn't make you look fat" when in fact, a tight top creates sausages on a friend's tummy, or when we smile and say, "I'm alright" when we want to scream out of sheer frustration.

What happens, for instance, when you tell a lie to "save" a situation or a relationship? Should we confess to our sins and hurt people, or lie and give them peace, quoting the adage, "ignorance is bliss"? What about our past? Do we 'fess all or edit and censor shamelessly? When is "honesty is the best policy"?

On the flip side, what if we decide upon the amount of information we give to near and dear ones, but unfortunately cannot prevent them from discovering the truth from some other source one day? Then, of course, we risk losing their trust forever. So, should we plunge in and bare all, knowing full well the consequences - which could be, and often are ugly - or, do we keep our lips zipped and cross our fingers, hoping they will never find out the truth? How honest should we be? Is there such a thing as being half-honest, partly honest, and how different is a white lie from a black lie? How honest should we be to the ones we love? Honestly, I don't know.

19 comments:

  1. I feel you, gurl. At one end we have the "Bare all, tell all, because if you really love someone, you should not hide anything from him/her" type of people.

    And at the other end you have the white liars. The "Some things are best left unsaid" types who believe that it is ok to lie a bit as long as not knowing the truth is not going to affect the relationship.

    You will find enough people supporting both camps. My observation is that it depends from person to person eventually. Just do it your own way. And what happens after that, lies in the hands of fate.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Honestly, i also don't know. Blatant lies by trusted persons have left deep wounds. They lied to 'protect' me, but it doesn't help...

    ReplyDelete
  3. While I understand to some extent the lying to save skin thing, I personally abhor being lied to, and make a bad liar myself. Ethical reasons. Plus I think lying is immature because in the end, the truth is usually out anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Rom: :)
    @Illusionaire: Yeah, I guess it is different strokes for different folks. But it's the part where you say that it lies in the hands of fate that worries me... wouldn't we be able to manipulate the outcome/ fate to a certain extent depending on what we say or hide? thanks for responding!

    @mesjay: Yes, the hurt goes deep, and the thing is, it's not the magnitude of the lie that hurts so much, but the fact that they have lied... even if with the best of intentions.

    @Calliopia: Right on! Although I can understand the need to lie under certain circumstances, I also do find it a bit immature and cowardly too. And I'm a bad liar too; I've never been able to find ways of dodging DIRECT questions especially.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Black Eye Peas emi kha?... an hla No No no no...don't lie...tih hla kha loh theihlohin a lolang :-) Dawt var!? Dawt dum!?

    Thian pakhatin a thianpa tih diklohna hum tumse "Ka tih ani" tiin lo sawi se, dawt ni mahse dawt-khawngaihna chi telh a ni (te ti vel ila :-)...

    Dawt sawi hi a tlangpui a chawhrual chuan a pawi thin. Chuvang chuan, "Lei" veng tha tur leh dawtlo pawh nise insum ngaihna lai a tam mai. Nalh ka tih lemloh hi chu, "I va han nalh em em' ka ti hranlo a, ka en vung2 a ka ngawi mai thin! Mahse naupang thiam manglo, an thatna lai hmuhluih sak hram hram a, "I va han thiam em" han tih te hi chu tha ve deuh a ni. Ramri kham a har khawp mai. A awmchin leh dik chin hmanawm chin kan tih tumahah hian a in ang silo a...

    ReplyDelete
  6. @sawmpuia: i comment chhiar a manhla thin e. Ni e, zawhna chhan awl a ni lemlo a, mahse i ngaihdan i rawn share a, ka lawm e :) Ka rilru ah a la awm reng mawle, ka vei laklawh tlats

    ReplyDelete
  7. hihihi ... i ziah na chhan ka hre reng mai si ah hihihi ... tra la la la ... i know i know ihihihi

    ReplyDelete
  8. ahemz... keipawn ka I KNOW chak eeee! :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Miss chu i ziak thra khop mai:)
    I think it's always better to stick to truth because truth triumph in the end!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'd rather you lie to me than tellin' me the truth and hurt me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. keep our lips zipped and cross our fingers, hoping they will never find out the truth?
    The above is a very good suggestion... haha
    Seriously guys, truth hurts but prevails.
    Great post dreamer.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @illusionaire: If you knew, we'd never hear the end of it, so... :)

    @clio & chicco: hear, hear!

    @alenjandro: Am not sure I'd agree :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. liar, liar pants on fire!!!
    i think you should listen to the song....:)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lalte: academic ah hian tlemin in serious deuh la, Mizo zingah future nei tha ber pawl i ni. Mizo khawtlangah i awm a. I thiamna leh nihna hi i hmang tawk lo ka ti lek lek thin. I ngaihdan hian kawngro thui takin a nei. Rairuang thli chhem len theih mai mai chu ni lo hram ang che..Mizo zingah beisei tur awm sawi dawn ila, i hming hi ka sawi ka ring thin....

    ReplyDelete
  15. miss...cant get over da "when a teacher questions a student answers" routine so here goes...welll...in a relnshp..its best 2 4gt da past...buuutt...if u feel he/she is never going 2 then "LIE" LOLLZ kidding..i mean censor some 50%? no 70 % at least? or if its xtra sensitive then 99%? i really dont knw...im jst butting in so i cn tell u im here hehe

    ReplyDelete
  16. Knock knock! Hibernating through summer?

    ReplyDelete